Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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