My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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