Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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