did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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