I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I need to align my fucking chakras
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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