i just snorted my name. best moment ever
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
His nipple licking is glorious
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
