It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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