I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
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