You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
