there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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