you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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