Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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