Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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