Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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