this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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