Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
