My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
