i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize