Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
