is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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