also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
