i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i think my cat just said my name.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
