just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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