Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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