I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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