Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
