My first STD was from a foam party
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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