i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
