In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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