Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
