Don't you send me to vm
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
