Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
