we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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