Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
