I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
