I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She's the barista slut.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Randomize
