Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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