Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
