Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize