none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
