Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
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