i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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