I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
