Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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