thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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