I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
