I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
