hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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