i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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