If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
