Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
