you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
