I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
