so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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