So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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