I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
