did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
