My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
