after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
