im holly from the hills drunk
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
