Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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