Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
