I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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