We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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